Your pictures on Tinder were so handsome, I couldn’t wait to meet you and get laid! Little did I know there would be a catch. It should be a rule that guys should post their penis size in their bios so I can avoid disappointment in the future. What am I supposed to do with that tiny little thing? It’s certainly not going anywhere near me, that’s for sure. But I mean… you’re still here and I could use the entertainment. Jerk off for me while I make fun of your dick, it’s the least you could do for wasting my time.